Celebration of Life vs. Funeral

1. Though separated from the living, the dead are still at one with the community of believers on earth and benefit from their prayers and intercession.
2. The celebration of the Christian funeral brings hope and consolation to the living.
3. Funerals celebrate the life of the deceased, highlighting their achievements, personality and the impact they had on others.
4. During the funeral Mass, we worship, praise, and give thanksgiving to God, for the life of the deceased and the author of all life.

Many funeral homes are now offering “celebrations of life” as an alternative to funerals. Celebrations of life are becoming increasingly popular because they offer a lighter, often more cathartic opportunity to remember and bid farewell to those we’ve lost. Celebrations of life often include:

• Stories or memories of the loved one.
• Music.
• Snacks or refreshments.
• A photo memory board, a memorial table or a memorial DVD of images of the loved one.

My research and personal experiences have shown that while "celebration of life" services may offer a more personalized and potentially uplifting approach to mourning, some potential drawbacks include the potential for them to feel like a party rather than a somber remembrance and the possibility of the focus shifting away from the deceased's death. More specifically, potential negatives include:

• Shifting focus:  Some argue that the "celebration" aspect can overshadow the mourning process, potentially making mourners feel uncomfortable or ashamed of their sadness.
• Feeling like a party:  The celebratory atmosphere might not be suitable for everyone, and some may find it difficult to reconcile the joy with the loss.
• Discomfort with laughter and lightheartedness:  While some find comfort in celebrating a life, others may find it difficult to laugh or engage in lightheartedness during a time of grief.
• Personalization can be overwhelming:  The highly personalized nature of celebrations of life can sometimes feel overwhelming, especially for those who prefer a more traditional and structured approach.
• Potential for misinterpretation:  The term "celebration of life" can be misinterpreted as a denial of death, which may not be the intention of the family.
• Lack of tradition:  Some families find comfort in the structure and traditions of a funeral service, and a celebration of life may not provide the same sense of closure or ritual.
• Cost:  While not inherently more expensive, the personalization and flexibility of a celebration of life can lead to higher costs, depending on the chosen activities and venue.

A celebration of life does not need to replace the traditional types of memorial services but can be an addition. A fitting example is an Irish funeral. A traditional Irish funeral, or wake, involves a community gathering to celebrate the life of the deceased, often including music, sharing stories and food, proceeded or followed by a more somber church service and burial. The modern Irish wake or gathering before or after the funeral is still about celebration and embracing our mortality with a bit of humor and good cheer.

Wakes and funerals are often seen as solemn, formal events, but they don't have to be limited to a single tone or approach. In fact, Rite of a Funeral of the Catholic Church states, “Whenever possible, ministers should involve the family in planning the funeral rites: in the choice of texts and rites provided in the ritual, in the selection of music for the rites and in the designation of liturgical ministers.” The Germans say, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.” In other words, avoid discarding something valuable when trying to get rid of something unwanted or undesirable. Memorialize the deceased with the structure, rituals, and traditions of a funeral service, while incorporating an uplifting approach to mourning and celebrating the life of your loved one.